Slaughterhouse Blue

A common problem for our Heads of Houses in Oxbridge is the little mistakes that unaccountably slip into their curriculum vitae or press releases.

How it happens, no-one really knows — simple clerical errors by their PAs, enthusiastic auto-correction by the computer, or maybe their cat trampled over the keyboard at a critical moment.

The problems of Kerris Bowles-Ottery have been generously overlooked by the Fellowship of St Judas College after his explanation that a vindictive ex-lover had doctored his cv.

Now we hear of a spot of bother for Wendell Lacksworth, the Master of Slaughterhouse.

Wendell Lacksworth graduated with a Class II degree from Oxford and then obtained a PhD from the University of London. Of course, there’s no shame in that. Degree class is in any case a mediocre predictor of attainment in academic research.

But the public announcement accompanying his elevation to Head of House reads “Professor Wendell Lacksworth, DPhil(Oxon) has been appointed to the Mastership of Slaughterhouse…“

A small point, perhaps? Indicative of a lingering sense of injustice that all those years ago Wendell was denied a PhD place at Oxford because of a second-class degree.

More seriously, there is a connection between insecurity and poor behaviour, like bullying. This is well-established in both psychology and everyday observation.

Often, academics act aggressively to hide or compensate for their own feelings of inadequacy. It’s a coping mechanism for low self-worth or unresolved emotional issues.

It’s why those little mistakes in curriculum vitae are actually well-worth paying attention to.

The 21 Group emphasises that this is a work of fiction. Any similarities to actual persons, whether living or dead, or actual events are purely coincidental.